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My friend Matt likes to say that there’s no point of no return. Nick and I have a conversation about how we should stay just friends.

It’s all-consuming and easy, like breathing — sometimes you forget it’s there, but when you remember, it’s all you can think about.

I re-download all the dating apps that used to be on my phone. I would nail that Most Hours Watched Netflix leaderboard.

Maybe I’m the one who’s not open to new things, who’s afraid of commitment, who only ever ends up liking guys who are unavailable, because guys who are available could lead to something real, and things that matter can be broken.

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I like the sound of that, but I’m not sure if that’s the part that worries me. I go to a concert with a bunch of friends and Nick*.

That you can never really be too friends with someone to be rejected by them and never recover the friendship.

I briefly message a few people on Tinder who seem to live in my neighborhood but quickly lose interest. The late night concert is better silly dancing with people who are also too busy silly dancing to judge.

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