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I hadn't expected to find love, I hadn't been searching for it, I wasn't even sure I wanted it.

But I felt a vague dissatisfaction because something was not right.

But it was still a relationship of sorts' It was a bewildering landscape, but I was glad to see how free of stigma online dating had become. By this stage of my life, I was too battle-scarred to believe in knights on white chargers. Surprised and pleased, I wrote back saying I thought he was cute and that I was all in favour of younger men. Another new young friend, Simon, was 25, slim, sweet-faced and boyish, a little shy.

He was an internet entrepreneur and passionate about digital technology.

He soon began to doubt my identity, demanding to know what I 'really looked like'. I felt an almost constant urge to be looking to see who had been viewing or messaging me; to be checking the mobile for something from my conquests (I use that word with irony) and, if possible, indulge in lengthy, risqué texting sessions, sometimes into the small hours, with any who were around.

Everything was built on shifting sand, nothing was solid or reliable or entirely real.

I realised I didn't actually care about any of these men.

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