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He modeled the underwear as best he could in a public setting, and there was no doubt about his state of arousal.

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One guy even referred to me as an "ebony girl," as if I belonged in a tag on a porn site.

I largely ignored the men asking me to dominate them, which happened as frequently as every third or fourth message, but they did make me wonder: Were these men simply casting out a large net in hopes of catching anyone, or was there something about me that served as a beacon to white male submissives? As I headed into my late thirties, though, I thought of all the opportunities of sexual exploration I'd been denied because it may have interfered with an ex's "manhood," or because of my own lack of confidence.

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It had been over four years since my last relationship, and I was tired of the long stretches without sex.

I was worried I didn't know how to be in a relationship any more and that I'd lost my skills in the bedroom.

Or was it simply enough that I was a black woman that made them reach out? I frequently held myself back from approaching white men because I didn't think they'd be attracted to me physically or because of cultural differences.

Yet here were several white men presenting themselves to me — even if I had to weed out the creeps, just as I would have to do offline. All of this coincided with my decision to make 2014 the year of new adventures and to stop being afraid of taking chances.

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