Dating single men with kids
Supposedly, throughout human history, 40% of men have reproduced while 80% of women have.And, while those numbers are surely much more equal in the US today, I’m still guessing fewer men have kids than women.The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time.
This would also involve taking his last name, doing most of the housework while contributing 50% to the earnings, and faking my orgasms so he doesn’t have to feel emasculated by his lack of sexual prowess. It would involve some sacrifices, like probably not living in San Francisco.
However, every time I go on a date with some man-child, I become more and more convinced that those sacrifices are probably the less bad option. So many men act like a girlfriend is just something they deserve, but have no concept of how they might improve the life of the women they’re with. When I date people, I devote a lot of effort to making their lives better.
As humans societies have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies, there have been substantial changes in relations between men and women, with perhaps one of a few remaining biological constants being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen.
Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior.
Women are frequently more reciprocative, but men often seem me, by having nice shit, or looking good, or pulling in bank. I’ve dated a few guys who want kids, so I’ve devoted some time pondering what men who want kids need.
But, they almost never take a look at my life and ask themselves “what is Emma missing, and how could I fill that role? And, I dunno, maybe it’s like, co-dependent of me or something, but when I don’t do it my relationships don’t work. It’s probably all going to go to waste when I have a kid on my own, but maybe someone will find some of it useful: Like, I know I said some bleak shit about men ever getting to have kids, but I also feel like if you devote any conscious effort in this direction whatsoever, you’ll be ahead of 90% of men. That said, I’ve devoted a lot of time and energy to the problem of dating, and I’m still single, so you know.
In fact, many fertility problems we ascribe to maternal age may actually be exaggerated.
Because women usually date men older than them, the trouble they have conceiving is due to the age of both partners. I’m getting a bit bored dating 35 year olds who want kids “one day.” Truthfully, more than anything else, it’s the complete lack of effort that’s really off-putting. Option 1 is “trapping” some guy into having kids with me because he lacks the self awareness to plan for it himself.
Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky constructed a reproductive spectrum with opposite poles being tournament species, in which males compete fiercely for reproductive privileges with females, and pair bond arrangements, in which a male and female will bond for life.
These species-particular behavior patterns provide a context for aspects of human reproduction, including dating.
I had a like, 3 year stint of dating basically only women in San Francisco, and not a lot of SF lesbians are super sold on the idea of kids (probably because SF is so expensive and because babies are not a byproduct of lesbian sex.)So, I was like, ah-ha! In a Guardian article, Laurie Penny concisely expressed some of my current frustrations: I’m consistently taken aback by the number of men my age and older who speak offhandedly about their “future children”, without having planned in the slightest for the arrival of these notional sprogs — simply assuming that it’ll happen someday, when they’ve had time to dedicate themselves to their life’s work.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating