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Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor Last week, I discussed why women can't find a "good" man (here).
When punishments weight more heavily, people avoid those same behaviors.
Essentially, many men report that they find modern dating a primarily punishing affair.
Men have adapted and devised a number of strategies to make the best of these difficult options, including the following:1) Becoming Attractive - one strategy adopted by some men is to become attractive, dominant, and sexually-forward.
These are the guys who are often labeled "players", "macks", and "pick-up artists".
If men choose to follow social norms and become compliant as "good guys", they may get a "relationship partner". biological double-bind, these compliant men may also not be "attractive" to those same relationship partners (Buss & Shackelford, 2008).
As a result, they may be punished by their girlfriend's/wife's lack of sexual interest, being cheated on, or disrespected as a "push over".
However, these men are often punished by being socially labeled as "jerks", "players", or even "creeps", unfit for socially-defined relationships.
Furthermore, their tactics are often designated as "sexist" (Hall & Canterberry, 2011).
Many of these tactics, however, primarily attract women who are focused on short-term flings with attractive men (see here).
Therefore, the relationship needs of the men using this strategy may be less fulfilled in the long run.2) Partnering Carefully - another strategy adopted by some men is to adhere to social norms and become a "good guy" or even "domestic partner". However, men who follow this strategy should pick their partner carefully.
Socially, they are expected to be "compliant" (i.e. However, they are also urged by women's sexual interest to maintain an "attractive personality" (i.e. Unfortunately, men sometimes report that attempting to balance these notions does not result in satisfaction, happiness, or women's appreciation and respect.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating