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When you’re able to access anger, the experience can actually be empowering—because at the very least there are shades of remembering deserve more from a relationship.Depending on your specific temperament, life, and family experiences, as well as your unique breakup, your anger may be directed at your partner, the situation, or yourself.It can be a brutal process, and it can take a long time until you feel deserving of investing in your own independent, reshaped life path.
You fought to hold on to the relationship to the point of being all-consumed. Still, it’s becoming clear that the two of you aren’t going to make it.
Even if the relationship was awful, even unbearable at times, the idea of living without it is unacceptable.
Unfortunately, you may need to go through this process of breaking up and reconciling more than once before you're absolutely convinced it's time to let go. Anger Initially, you may not be able to connect with feelings of anger.
Breaking up plummets you into the unknown, which can evoke immobilizing fear and dread. Therefore, when anger sets in, it's because you have let go of some of your fear, at least temporarily.
The fact that you are on the trajectory of grieving the loss is a sign that you are working through.
It indicates that somewhere within, you are creating enough internal discomfort to help shift your perspective about how the relationship has actually been, and it can compel you to make proactive changes, if you are ready to let it. Initial Acceptance This is the kind of acceptance that, when it happens early in the process, can feel more like surrender.You likely swing back and forth between foggy disbelief, the daily, moment by moment rediscovery of the magnitude of your loss, and flashes of painful clarity that . You funnel every last hope into saving it, even at the expense of your well-being.The pain, disorganization, and confusion can become all you think about, or talk about. It feels like you’ve put everything you are into this relationship. You postpone your need to grieve its end, because it’s just too painful to face. The thought of being without your ex is so intolerable that you make your own pain go away by winning him or her back, at any cost.Further, when you bargain, you are trying to take responsibility for why the relationship doesn't work, which may give you the illusion that you have control over it, perpetuating the belief that it's salvageable as long as you can just keep performing superhuman acts. Relapse Because the pain is so intolerable, you may actually be able to convince your ex to try again (this may not be the first breakup with this partner).You will temporarily relieve the agony of withdrawal.Desperate for Answers The drive to know is consuming and can come at the expense of rational thoughts and behaviors.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating