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The build-up is rarely racy: one woman cooked me chicken casserole last month before kissing me on the sofa.

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When Nicole and I divorced, we were teachers living in Taiwan.

I wanted to move back to Britain and we agreed it was best for my son to come with me.

For the first two years of dating online, I subscribed to a dating service run by one national newspaper. On my first date, a stunning solicitor turned up at my home in a BMW and designer dress.

A mere five minutes after we met, she suggested the pair of us perform an unprintable sex act. When I said I wanted her to leave she looked taken aback, as if I should have been turned on.

Four dates have ended up in bed; three after just one date.

The women have all made the first move: I’m a gentleman and would never initiate sex, although I suspect they were only doing so to win my affection.

He and his former wife, Hazel, 66, a shop assistant, divorced in 2000. Although an online affair led to the demise of Bill’s marriage, he remains a dedicated internet dater. When I admitted to one of my dates — a retired divorcee in her 60s — that I’d cheated on my wife, she glared at me and spent the rest of the evening ranting about her ex-husband. I sipped my drink in silence, wondering when I could leave. Hazel and I had been married for 26 years when, in 1999, I logged on to a dating chat room while at work.

Otherwise, they seem to be looking for a replica of their last relationship. I spend so much time listening to how wonderful their recently dead husbands are, I end up feeling inadequate.

A forthright brunette demanded I wear Superman underwear on our date to give her ‘something to remember’.

Still trying to find my feet, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of not being as ready to start dating as I had thought and barely said a word.

But I didn’t have a chance because on her profile, she stated: ‘All my children are over 18.’In other words, I need not apply because my son would be too young for her.

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