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But it works for us, and it’s not as unusual as it seems. An open relationship is a form of non-monogamy, which is an umbrella term for any physical or romantic partnership that is not predicated on exclusivity. In this article I’m focusing on what Adam and I are and do: a committed couple that takes lovers.

Or as Dan Savage calls it, we are “monogamish.” Even that can look really different from relationship to relationship.

There have been instances where something has felt uncomfortable, or times we’ve felt hurt, so we've modified.

We don’t get mad at each other if something happens that feels uncomfortable as long as it’s not a violation of an existing rule; we learn from it, and make a new rule.

Beyond that, each pair or group determines their own limits and guidelines. ____ A study described in Psychology Today in 2014 found that between 23 and 40 percent of men and 11-22 percent of women are curious to try it.

And lest you think we’re a small subculture of free-love weirdos, research over the last several years estimates that 4-5 percent of relationships in the U. Many people feel that having a relationship or sex with only one person for an indefinite amount of time is too difficult and unnatural. For most of my life I was a serial monogamist and constantly cheating.

I would often fall into a cycle of trying to make that work but eventually letting temptation get the best of me, and failing both parties of the relationship; especially my partner. Eventually, the inevitable conversation came up naturally about what we were, and what we could be.

We were both always aware of the existence of other lovers, but it was clear that we were each other's favorite.

Adam and I keep our lovers separate (more on that later).

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